Greek Mythology for Beginners (including me), Part One.

Dear Reader,

It’s Sunday. It’s a beautiful bright day outside and Spring is definitely hiding around the corner, maybe even peeking at us every now and then. I’ve been for a lovely walk this morning and now I’m back to sitting on the sofa thinking ‘what shall I do next?’

If you’re like me and find that you’re struggling to keep yourself entertained during Lockdown, why not try teaching yourself something new? there’s only so much banana bread you can bake after all, isn’t there. Ever since watching Disney’s Hercules as a kid I’ve always had an interest in Greek Mythology. Unfortunately, the real stories behind legends such as Hercules don’t end in the same happy endings that we’ve grown to love. I just want to say that many of the stories within Greek Mythology do tend to vary, so if you’ve heard something slightly different from what I’m about to write then don’t worry, your version is still valid. There is no definitive right or wrong way to tell this, which I love. You might want to grab yourself a few snacks, we could be here a while.

Where to begin? You’ve most likely heard of the movie Clash of Titans. Well, I’m not going to talk about that movie, but I am going to briefly talk about the Titans because they play a pretty integral part in the foundations of greek mythology. The Titans were immortal giants with incredible knowledge of magic and strength who ruled the world before the Olympians (we’ll get to them later). They were also known as the Elder Gods and they resided on Mount Othrys. Unlike other civilisations such as the Egyptians, the Greeks made their Gods in their own image. That’s why in most depictions of Greek Gods and Goddesses they appear to be beautiful and muscular, as opposed to having the head of a fish and the body of a lion. So on some scale, we all kind of look a bit like Greek Gods. Just don’t let it go to your head.

Okay, so maybe looking like a Greek God isn’t so great after all. This guy here is Cronus. Or Kronos. Or Cronos. See what I mean? Variations. Today we’re going to stick with Cronus, but if you decide to read about greek mythology elsewhere, any version of that name is fine. You might wonder what the f*ck is going on here, and you’d be very right to think that. So I’m going to explain who this dude is.

Cronus was the leader of the first generation of the Titans. He was the descendant of two Primordial beings, Uranus; the personification of the sky, and Gaia; the personification of the Earth and the ancestral mother of all life. Between them, Uranus and Gaia birthed the first giants and Titans that we have come to know, including the likes of Oceanus who was the lord of the river Ocean; a great river encircling the Earth. However, Uranus grew concerned that his powerful offspring would one day overthrow him and so he cast his offspring into the depths of Tartarus. Tartarus is basically the Underworld and the equivalent to our Hell. It comes up a lot in Greek Mythology. Anyway, understandably Gaia was extremely pained by this. I mean, her children were being held captive, even a Goddess would be pretty bummed out. So, what did Gaia do? Did she confront Uranus and tell him how she felt? Did they go to marriage counselling for Gods and Goddesses? I know the suspense is killing you, so I’ll spill the beans. She conspired against her significant other and plotted for him to be castrated by one of his own sons. And which son, do you ask? Good old Cronus. He definitely sounds like a Mummy’s Boy.

Cronus wounded his father, and with the blood that shed from his wound and fell onto the earth sprouted a new race of beings, also called Giants. Cronus enlisted his fellow Titan siblings and together they managed to dethrone their father. Enraged by this, Uranus cursed his son with a similar fate and suggested that he would be overthrown by his own children. You can see where this is going right? Filled with great power, Cronus treated his siblings like his subordinates and once he had secured the throne for himself and no longer needed them, he made war upon his brothers and allies with the assistance of the giants and he defeated them. Any who resisted him were immediately sent into Tartarus. Talk about family feuds, I wouldn’t want to be at one of their reunions.

I’m going to move onto the next part of this tale involving Cronus, so if you’d like to know more about the other Titans, please check out this link.

http://www.talesbeyondbelief.com/myth-stories/uranus-gaia.htm

Now, we can already tell that Cronus is going to have some serious trust issues given that his own dad has cursed him. The idea of being overthrown by his own children simply was not going to happen. Cronus wound up marrying one of the other Titans, Rhea. If you don’t already know anything about Greek Mythology or haven’t read the little link above, you may not make the connection that Rhea is in fact Cronus’ sister. There is a hell of a lot of incest in Greek Mythology, however as these are incredibly powerful divine beings the act of reproduction is not like that as we know. It isn’t just the act of a sperm cell penetrating an egg, it’s to do with the transformation of energies and essences. Some may argue that the greeks depicted their Gods in this way to make incest in every day life more acceptable. Whatever helps them sleep at night.

Rhea was informed of the prophecy that Cronus believed to be true, however the two produced six offspring. The first child was Hestia, known as the virgin goddess and the goddess of the family/home. To Rhea’s horror, Cronus devoured his child in an attempt to prevent the curse set upon him by his own father from becoming a reality. His second daughter Demeter met the same fate, followed by Hera, Hades and Poseidon.

Hestia
The virgin goddess, goddess of the hearth and the home.

Demeter
The goddess of the harvest and agriculture, known for her fertility of the earth.

Hera
The goddess of women, family, marriage and childbirth.

Hades
The god of death and king of the underworld.

Poseidon
The god of the sea, storms, earthquakes and horses.

Zeus
The god of thunder and the sky.

As these children were Gods and this is Greek Mythology so obviously all natural laws of physics go out of the window, the five children were in fact still very much alive in Cronus’ stomach. So far Cronus believed his plan to be working, however Rhea was growing increasingly unhappy at the loss of her children. When she gave birth to her sixth child Zeus, she decided that enough was enough and turned to Gaea for relief. They came up with a plan to trick her husband. When the time came for Cronus to chow down on his third son, Rhea in fact wrapped up a rock and gave it to him. Cronus didn’t stop to inspect the bundle and guzzled the package down in one, leaving baby Zeus alive and well. Rhea had in fact given birth to Zeus in a cave on the island of Crete, where he was to live in hiding from his father.

It’s said that Zeus was cared for by a Nymph named Amalthaea and guarded by the Curetes, young warriors who would clash their weapons together in an attempt to disguise the cries of the infant. When Zeus was of age, he returned to rescue his siblings. He did this by poisoning his father who would then regurgitate the five fully grown offspring who had been residing in his stomach. It’s unclear as to how exactly Zeus poisoned his good old dad, but from what I can gather he spiked his wine with vomiting poison. Cover your drinks ladies. Once Zeus had freed his siblings, they left and began to come up with a plan to overthrow their father.

Zeus rebelled against Cronus, along with all his brothers and sisters, and so began a war that would span across 10 years. This battle would be known as the Titanomachy and was fought to determine which generation of Gods would have dominion over the universe. Zeus had enlisted the support of the Cyclops who Cronus’ had previously cast into Tartarus. The Cyclops were giant one-eyed creatures and were especially well known for their profound forgery and crafting skills. It was in fact the Cyclops who created weapons for the ‘big three olympians’. A sickle for Hades, a trident for Poseidon, and a thunderbolt for Zeus. It was with these weapons and the support of the Cyclops that the children of Cronus’ managed to win the war against the Titans. They dubbed themselves as the Olympian Gods, named after Mount Olympus where they resided and became the new rulers of the Cosmos.

All that was left was for the Gods to split the responsibilities of who was to rule where. Once again, it is slightly unclear as to how this was decided but supposedly the Gods drew straws. Maybe this is where the idea of pulling straws came from. Zeus knew that as Hades was the eldest brother, he would have had the first pick over where to rule. He managed to persuade his brothers to draw straws, and unlucky for Hades he drew the short straw, being that he would be the ruler of the underworld. Followed by Poseidon, who would rule the kingdom of the sea and Zeus who came out as the winner and therefore ruling the skies and becoming the King of Gods and inheriting the command over the heavens.

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a good place to put a pin in this for now. Greek Mythology contains so many different stories and names, I think we need a bit of a breather. Next time I’ll research a bit more into the Big Three Olympians and the others who I haven’t mention as of yet. If there’s anything you want me to cover or anything I’ve missed out just pop me a little comment!

Until next time

H x

Netflix and Chill..ed.

Warning: The following content may be unsuitable for readers under the age of 18.

Dear reader,

It’s me again. Ya boi. This is going to be a long one.

I did it! I came up with something to talk about that isn’t serial killers or cute little games with animals and pretty scenery. Polar opposites I know, and if you wanted me to talk about that and now you’re feeling disappointed, fear not I say! All in good time. For I have developed a fool proof method for determining spontaneous topics to chat about. You wanna know what it is, don’t you? Drum roll please..

I noted down a bunch of things I wouldn’t mind waffling on about (serial killers, scenery and cute games with animals, the usual) and then I carefully folded them up and put them in a box. Now that I say it out loud, I’m basically picking names out of a hat aren’t I. Anyway, the box has spoken! Today’s pick is something that I imagine the majority of the population has become extremely familiar with over the past year. You guessed it, Netflix.

What’s your go to when you want to chill out and pass some time? Maybe when you’re alone, or maybe when you’re with your significant other. I know I’m not the only one who spends an endless amount of hours watching shows on Netflix. Even the Netflix original movies aren’t so bad. I usually watch documentaries on true crime cases and serial killers for hours on end, however I’m going to try and stay clear of that right now and have a look at a few different Netflix shows that are a bit more diverse and hopefully will peak your interest. I know I enjoyed them.

  1. Modern Family (Seasons 1-8)

Modern Family is a mockumentary show that isn’t necessarily new to a lot of people. I remember it being aired on the TV, however it never really captured my attention and I thought it was just another generic American Sitcom, so I often flicked the channel over whenever it came on. When I had exhausted almost every show on Netflix that I could manage, I noticed that Modern Family had been added. I decided to give it a chance and watch it from the beginning, and I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I’ve made in the huge international debate of “What do you wanna watch tonight?”.

The show follows three dysfunctional households that all belong to one family, the Pritchett’s. Created by Christopher Lloyd and Steven Levitan in 2009, the three families represent three different kinds of family structures; Nuclear, Blended and Same-Sex. This makes the show a tastefully diverse watch whilst holding onto a very light-hearted and relatable sense of humour, following the endeavours of the ‘modern family’ and making us laugh by displaying situations that are encountered by most families in everyday life. I have lost count of the amount of times I’ve had a right good belly laugh at the actions of the characters in the show, and I can honestly say it’s a great way to let your hair down (providing you have any) and get lost in the organically funny series. Currently, Seasons 1-8 of the show are available to stream on Netflix. The full series (1-11) is available to watch on Now TV. Unfortunately, the show ended in early 2020. Yet another treasure which that unforgiving year took away from us. Maybe this is why the cast all look so distraught in the above photograph. I feel you guys.

Still not convinced? Here’s the Top 10 funniest moments of Season 1-8.

You can watch Seasons 1-8 here: https://www.netflix.com/watch/70143858?trackId=13752289&tctx=0%2C0%2Cb08a2aacfa26ec69c681f134dc3ce5cb36d2b2c1%3A9370307d317e5a1842439031a77e85fb2c594934%2Cb08a2aacfa26ec69c681f134dc3ce5cb36d2b2c1%3A9370307d317e5a1842439031a77e85fb2c594934%2Cunknown%2C

2. Behind Her Eyes (Netflix February 2021)

Behind Her Eyes is a recently created Psychological Thriller Series released by Netflix on February 17th 2021 which is based on the best-selling novel by Sarah Pinborough. The show focuses on Louise, a single mother who bites off more than she can chew when she befriends the wife of her new boss. The series moves from weird to weirder over the several episodes that it runs for. This is one of those shows that you get hooked on and before you know it, you’ve finished the entire series in one sitting. Yes, I’m speaking from experience.

Without giving away too many spoilers, Behind Her Eyes presents us with a love triangle and a mysterious back story to a number of the characters involved, as well as teasing our emotions and taking us on one hell of a rollercoaster ride in an attempt to figure out the plot. I’ve been on the Big Dipper at Blackpool Pleasure beach and I can honestly say this show has more ups and downs. The series also debuts a range of stunningly colourful scenes, sometimes giving off the vibes that the characters are in a fairytale, only to be dragged back to a gloomy reality within a split second for the next scene. If you’re looking for a program that gets you thinking and has an unusual story line, you should give this one a watch. I can’t really discuss too much about this series without spoilers, so I think I’ll move onto our next bingeworthy nugget.

You can watch the series here: https://www.netflix.com/watch/80244630?trackId=13752289&tctx=0%2C0%2C52660b1c17652aa1298102585d3b6ff826447cac%3Af487c595eddb2596c45f8981fc4d27339a6d5a5d%2C52660b1c17652aa1298102585d3b6ff826447cac%3Af487c595eddb2596c45f8981fc4d27339a6d5a5d%2Cunknown%2C

3. Big Mouth (Seasons 1-4)

How can I describe Big Mouth? If you’re easily offended, or dislike the sexualisation of inanimate objects such as couch cushions, then dear reader.. this show is not for you. However, if you do have a bit of a dark sense of humour and enjoy the likes of shows such as South Park and Family Guy, then you may very well find that Big Mouth is right up your alley. I first watched this on my mobile phone whilst on a lunch break at work a couple of years back, and I had to try my hardest not to burst out laughing in the canteen.

Big Mouth is an animated adult sitcom which follows a group of kids during the coming-of-age period of their lives whilst exploring puberty with a ‘matter-of-fact’ attitude towards sex and the human body. The edgy show introduces bodily aspects in the form of characters which adds to the overall comedic effect and leaves un in tears of laughter at the persona of the likes of the Hormone Monster, Depression Kitty and Tito the Anxiety Mosquito.

With episodes standing at a comfortable 20 minutes running time, the show is very easy to watch so you can work your way through the multiple series in pretty good time. There are currently 4 seasons on Netflix, with a fifth one in the making and due to be released in Autumn 2021. I hope you’ll be as excited as I am! The controversial humour and somewhat relatable experiences take you back to your early pubescent days and remind you of the ‘changes’ you went through. However, as much as the show pushes the boundaries of jokes and humour surrounding puberty, it is also pretty well known for addressing social and political issues that kids today may often be faced with. Cool, right? We could all use a good laugh right now.

You can watch the series here: https://www.netflix.com/watch/80117038?trackId=13752289&tctx=0%2C0%2C6b75d4cd5a76902303406eea68835f67560ec030%3Ad6aaddf6279189ab4eea4e633c0c1c4247d7592b%2C6b75d4cd5a76902303406eea68835f67560ec030%3Ad6aaddf6279189ab4eea4e633c0c1c4247d7592b%2Cunknown%2C

4. The Night Stalker (December 2020)

Okay, Yes I apologise, a serial killer slipped through. Have you ever heard of the term morbid curiosity? Because I feel like it rules my life. I’m going to try and discuss this documentary series with as positive of an attitude as I can. If you don’t know me very well, you also won’t know that I watch a lot of documentaries and videos on true crime cases and serial killers. I’m not too sure why I enjoy watching them, but I do. They fascinate me, and somehow I disassociate myself from the fact that these are real people and real cases, which I think makes it a little easier for me to talk about than it would for other people.

Anyway, Night Stalker is a docuseries on Netflix that focuses on the true crimes committed by Richard Ramirez in the mid 1980s. Before being caught, Ramirez was nicknamed ‘Night Stalker’ by the police for his gruesome acts and criminal offences. He was notorious for breaking into his victims’ homes, raping them, killing them and stealing whatever valuable belongings he could find. The documentary shows interviews with police and detectives who worked the case tirelessly to capture Ramirez, news broadcasts from the time it was taking place and we even get a glimpse into what kind of evidence was being gathered, and how Ramirez was finally taken down. If you’re planning on watching this, please be warned that it is extremely disturbing and if you’re easily upset then maybe give this one a miss.

If you’re like me and have an unnaturally strange interest in this case and serial killers in general, you should check out Bailey Sarian’s youtube video discussing the same story. However, Bailey takes a deeper look into Ramirez’s past which is omitted from the documentary, and shines a little bit of light onto how he behaved the way he did. It’s still f**ked up.

You can watch the docuseries here: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81025701?trackId=13752289&tctx=0%2C0%2C7fc685599c9611061e00185acbc591ec18357ba7%3A52ee948aae734a74bd5884ef4cd973b0288cca11%2C7fc685599c9611061e00185acbc591ec18357ba7%3A52ee948aae734a74bd5884ef4cd973b0288cca11%2Cunknown%2C

5. The Office [US] (Seasons 1-9)

How are we doing after that last one? Everybody good? I promise this one is for everyone. Not only has The Office [US] provided us with some of the best quality memes and gif content known to man, it’s also another incredibly hilarious series to watch. Steve Carrell and John Krasinski bury their way into our hearts and set up camps there in this brilliant mockumentary series. Personally, I think that The Office [US] runs rings around The Office [UK]. Sorry Ricky Gervais, you tried.. but David Brent has nothing on Michael Scott.

Dunder Mifflin is a paper company in Scranton. Sounds ordinary? Think again. The Office [US] documents the every day lives of the manager of the Scranton branch and his colleagues who are followed around with cameras 24/7, capturing the hilarious encounters and ordeals that they often find themselves in. I suspect more often than real employees of an average paper company. Never in my life have I wanted to work in an office, but I’d work at Dunder Mifflin with these guys any day.

If you’re looking for a show that will not only leave you laughing at some of the cringe-worthy comments and situations that Michael Scott gets himself into, but will also leave you absolutely falling in love with the characters and gushing at their relationships, then my dearest reader you need look no further. The Office will hand all that to you on a silver platter. Each episode is about 25 minutes long, which seems to be the perfect length to get everything in without feeling like it’s been crammed in or leaving you with Michael Scott blue balls.

You can watch the series here: https://www.netflix.com/watch/70136120?trackId=13752289&tctx=0%2C0%2C130d1ca4889c51f2411d92506db21472dafbd32f%3A59e69a8739a466af7b9e901299e19d53f2b89863%2C130d1ca4889c51f2411d92506db21472dafbd32f%3A59e69a8739a466af7b9e901299e19d53f2b89863%2Cunknown%2C

Are you still here? If you have any suggestions for shows that I can binge-watch that you think top the above, or maybe if you disagree with me completely and think that my picks are a pile of shite, please leave me a comment! I’d love to get your opinions.

Once again, I find myself not really knowing how to sign off at the end of a post. Have you ever had a phone call from a family member on your birthday, and they’ve wished you a heart-felt ‘Happy Birthday!’, to which you’ve responded ‘You too’? Do you remember that awkward feeling you got when you realised what you’d said? That’s how I feel trying to find a way to end one of these things. Almost as bad as calling your teacher ‘Mum’.

Over and out,

H x

Hi, it’s me.

Dear Reader,

Or however you start these things.

I have a lot going on in my head. I have a lot of interests and things I want to talk about but I either don’t have anybody to talk about them with or I don’t particularly fancy socialising too much. Which sounds silly, I know.. given that we’re under National Lockdown and every body is missing socialisation. Well, I guess not me. Am I seriously that much of a hermit that I’d rather talk to myself online than participate in actual intimate human interaction? The answer to that is an abundant yes.

It’s currently 5:30pm and I’ve spent the majority of today sat on my sofa, safely tucked under a duvet whilst I’ve watched ‘Framing Britney Spears‘ on Now TV. Leave Britney Alone! (Did anyone watch that video?) It’s now day 55 of Lockdown 3.0, and good old Boris has given us a bit of something to look forward to. Roll on April 12. I’m not crazy about returning to work, but I am crazy about finally being able to see my friends and family, and to sit my driving test after months and months of it being cancelled, rearranged and whatever else could have possibly gotten in the way. Last night I had a dream that it was pushed back another 4 months. I woke up pissed this morning, that’s for sure.

After having a pretty unproductive day, I decided it’s about time I get off my arse and attempt something I’ve wanted to do for a while but never really known how to go about doing it, or feared that I’d be ridiculed. I’m not much of a writer, but I guess you can’t get better at something if you don’t at least practice or give it a shot am I right? After spending a good hour or so thinking of the perfect blog name and persona to use, I finally came up with Pandora’z Blog, a little play of words combining Pandora’s Box with blog. However, here we are using the letter Z like a rapper from 2001 because the traditional ‘S’ was already claimed. I need to be quicker leaving the starting line next time. By no means does the ‘Z’ imply that I’m some cool kid. I’m a little bit of a geek. I’ve just turned 25 and I’ve sank almost 1500 hours into Animal Crossing: New Horizons. You could say I’m obsessed. You would be correct.

Animal Crossing has been a game franchise I’ve played since Wild World was released in 2004 for Nintendo DS. There’s something kind of therapeutic about stepping away from the responsibilities and menial chores of the real world and getting lost on your own island getaway. The ironic thing is that you have to spend your time paying off loans to a capitalist raccoon by selling fish and bugs to his two nephews. For those who aren’t familiar with the game, it basically allows you to design and decorate your own individual island in any way you want whilst you’re accompanied by ten of the cutest little animal characters you’ve ever seen. A lot of people always ask me, “what’s the point to this game?” or “how do you complete it?”. The answer being that you don’t. It isn’t a game that you just simply ‘complete’. There aren’t any levels or badass boss fights. Just some very light-hearted gameplay. During Lockdown I’ve made friends across the country by playing Animal Crossing online. It’s allowed me to essentially travel without leaving the comfort of my own queen-sized bed. If you wanna check it out, there’s some pretty decent videos online.

I’m going to be honest with you readers, I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to write about. I’ve been spending my time watching a lot of true crime documentaries and vlogs recently and I’ve been debating looking into some of the cases and writing about them. Maybe discuss some of the books I’ve been buried in recently, or even just talk to myself like I’m doing right now. I know one thing for certain, going ahead I will most definitely be uploading an array of photographs. I’m a photography graduate and I want to share my work with people. Who knows, maybe it will enlighten me to discuss particular topics. I suppose we’ll find out.

How does one end a blog post? I can feel myself beginning to waffle on, and I’d prefer not to talk some glass eyes to sleep. What is it they say? leave them wanting more? Well, my dear reader, I shall attempt to do just that.

Until next time.

H x